You smell like stripper and shame
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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