I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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