so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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