how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
