Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
