Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i've created a new STD.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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