my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I need a beard to bite.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
