just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
are you so shy because you have an std?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
