That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
