He is an equal opportunity slut.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
