Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm passing your future prison.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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