I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
