My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
