haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
