Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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