I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
