thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
