doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
