what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
