I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
