She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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