smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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