You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
