Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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