We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
