you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
