wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
