Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
