Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
if you like me you must not know who I am
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
