careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
