What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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