My girlfriend figured out who you are.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
