Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
