we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
