I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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