I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
