Why are handjobs necessary in class?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
