Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
