god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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