So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
