I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
