I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
