What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Vodka?
Forever.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
