pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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