just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my being single is dangerous.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
