I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
