So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize