There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
