she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
