I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
