Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
