Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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